I hate winter!   In fact of all my friends think I am the best 'winter hater' of the bunch.  Month after month of gloomy cold, ice slipping, misery. (By the way this mild winter doesn’t have me fooled a bit and I know it will punch us in the face with its arctic fist soon.)   For that reason I am clearing out and headed to Florida for an entire month.   However, rather than the usual 30,000 feet, 4 hour jet trip, I am going to drive.

After making this decision it occurred to me how long it had been since I had just hit the open road for the pure pleasure of it.   Although I have traveled thousands and thousands of miles over the years during my political days I had to go back to my youth to find a time when I took a car trip for fun.

The first experience was when I was a teenager and my parents would decide that it was time to pack up the station wagon and go visit relatives on one of the coasts.    These were nightmarish affairs where I was thrown in the back of the car with four smelly brothers who each came with a unique brand of irritation:  The 'know it all' older brother; the moody, morose middle brother just entering the first throes of puberty; and finally two younger brothers who I am quite sure subconsciously convinced me to remain childless.

The Volks circa 1958

My father, being a product of the Depression, flatly refused to even consider paying for a motel.   So, as we sped by motels with inviting swimming pools he would say:    "I'm going to pay someone for us to sleep?!?!"    So these trips invariably involved some type of Bataan Death March. A tortured journey along an endless road and endless hours until we could reach some third cousin, deep in Wisconsin, that my Dad had ferreted out of the family tree.    There we would be spent a sleepless night on a hard wood floor with blankets and pillows surrounded by 3rd cousins, twice removed, who we had never seen before and would never see again.

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In movie terms these trips would closely resemble National Lampoon's "Vacation" with Chevy Chase.    Just add three kids to the mix.

My second recollected car fun trips were, coincidentally also a National Lampoon movie, and involved those wonderful college day romps when we echoed the immortal words of the Delta Boys of "Animal House,” ... ROAD TRIP!!!!   

Much better than my family trips I assure you.   They would involve a spur of the moment decision made on a Friday afternoon to load the car with buddies and beer and head off in search of adventure and romance.    The only thing that amazes me, as I look back on those trips, is how any of us ever survived our late teens and early twenties.

Dave's "Animal House" Bunch

This road trip will be different on a number of levels.   First, the cooler of beer, beef jerky and Slim Jims of my college days will be replaced by a cooler of bottled water, Gatorade and fruit.   In the back of car, instead of four smelly, irritating brothers, will be my golf clubs and summer clothes, which, if I was not taking this trip, would right now be languishing in some back closet awaiting Spring. My trunk is full of books.   Mostly my latest children's book "My Grandpa's War".    It markets very well to veteran's groups and there are American Legions, VFWs and Disabled American Veteran's chapters everywhere you go.    Also, towards the end of my stay I will be attending a large reunion in Tampa of my old division from Vietnam, the 'Screaming Eagles' of the 101st Airborne. Whenever I get with my Vietnam veteran comrades I am always amazed at how old they look while I have hardly changed.    Nothing like a good 'Peter Pan' fantasy to help you along the road of life.

My trip will take me south to Kansas City then hang a left across the ‘Show Me State’ of Missouri…..(the only thing I hope they show me is good weather). Once by St. Louis I veer south again and head towards Nashville. From there it is on to Atlanta and then straight south to Florida. I am staying at a wonderfully warm sounding place called Longboat Key. 

Although I am going to come close to some big cities I am not going to visit a single one.   This trip is about seeing places I have not seen before and I have seen all these cities.   Also, and more importantly there is something in my hard wiring that turns me into a complete idiot whenever I cross the city limits of large metro area.    Within minutes I am being screamed at and given obscene gestures by the locals as I go down one way streets the wrong way or make any other number of mistakes that vagabond rubes make.   Invariably I end up in a neighborhood that resembles war torn Baghdad.    No thanks.

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I will take my time on this trip. Even dawdle. This is about visiting old friends while I still have the time, still have the chance. Including that old friend that was once young, carefree, off-the-clock me. I miss that guy once in awhile.

I need to apologize in advance for the grammatical contend of these road blogs.     When I write a book a good many people, smarter than me, scrub and edit my text correcting my grammar, tense, usage, etc., and I will have no such help while I travel.   I particularly want to apologize to Sister Suzanne, my teacher at Notre Dame High School.   She has told me that for years, whenever one of my books would come out, she would brag to her fellow nuns she was my English teacher, and who is now going to sadly find out that not everything that she taught me took.